Monday, September 13, 2010

Grandparents...Blessings and Babies

“"Honor your father and mother." This is the first commandment with a promise: that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”" Ephesians 6:2–3

"Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents..." 1 Timothy 5:3–4

We follow the 10 Commandments that God has outlined for us in the Bible. "Honor your Father and Mother" is a very well-known and important part of our Christian lives.

What happens when your parent becomes more like a child...and is overtaken by Alzheimer's and/or dementia???

How do you honor someone who cannot take care of themselves?

My grandmother is more like my two-year-old son in many ways. She has the same reasoning skills, and negotiation skills he has. She communicates as though she cannot remember the conversations we just had. She cannot remember the date, her full name, or where she is.

She just knows she is not where she wants to be.

But, she does not know where she wants to be either.

She wants to live on her own, but cannot. She does not realize she needs help - and that is the worst part!

I would love to have her live with me - and honor her, repaying what she has provided in my life and the life of my mother.

Would she be safe here? Would she even want to stay here?

I fear not...

Therefore, it would not be honoring her, to have her live with me, if she would not be safe, nor sound.

As much as I would love to relieve the financial strain that a nursing facility would cause, I am not sure that it would be emotionally or physically possible for me to meet her needs in my home.

My children love their great-grandma. I love her, too.
She is a widow who really in need...and I am a Christian struggling with the fact that I want to do the right thing and take her into my own home and care for her.

Please, Lord, give me the strength to do your will in this situation. If I am to consider this, I need Your strength and guidance, Lord. In Jesus Name, Amen.


  1. It is such a difficult decision. My Aunt finally had to "force" my Grandmother to stay with her. One night my Grandma was lost for hours. She was only a few minutes away from her home, but was disoriented and confused when my brothers finally spotted her at a local parking lot. She was becoming more paranoid each day and was harrassing her tenants, because of the dementia. She was leaving her stove on and forgetting to eat.
    She doesn't remember much now. She is down to 91 lbs. She recognizes faces, but doesn't really remember names or how she is related. The strange thing is that even though she has forgotten so much, she does remember where she lives and that she was forced to leave her home. She fights and cries about it every day. It's very hard on the family, my Aunt in particular. God Bless the wonderful women/children that care for their parents in their own home. I will say a prayer for you!

  2. Thank you for the prayers, Nichole!
    I am so torn, and wish there were more I could do for my grandma. I love her, and pray for her every day. We visit her, and once her broken bones heal, she may or may not end up living with us. My mother says she doesn't want to have her live with me, but I think it may be the best decision. My husband doesn't think so...but we'll keep praying about it! :)